(no subject)
Dec. 15th, 2018 02:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dani_meowsI envy normal people.
Who don't have a panic meltdown everytime they need to leave.
Today's supposed to be my first solo bus trip but I'm not ready. Ian and I have done several bus trips together and it's been fine but the idea of getting on the bus by myself is frightening.
Why do I feel so small?
Who don't have a panic meltdown everytime they need to leave.
Today's supposed to be my first solo bus trip but I'm not ready. Ian and I have done several bus trips together and it's been fine but the idea of getting on the bus by myself is frightening.
Why do I feel so small?
no subject
Date: 2018-12-15 07:12 pm (UTC)First, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no one is completely normal.
We all have our quirks/hang ups/insecurities.
Be gentle with yourself. You can only do what you can do, and if you can't do it today, you may manage it tomorrow.
♥
no subject
Date: 2018-12-17 04:10 pm (UTC)Good points! I guess I should be happy my quirks have labels (bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia...) and medications.
I ended up delaying the solitary bus ride for another week since I'm definitely not ready to try a bus ride where Ian is about 45 minutes away and at work if I can't even try the one where he's home in our apartment...
But I should focus on the fact that after 13 years, I've been leaving the house by myself at all. I'm making good progress unlearning the behaviors that anxiety taught me were safe....
I'm really good at beating myself up and not so good at not beating myself up.
♥ Thanks for commenting. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2018-12-15 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-17 03:37 pm (UTC)I didn't develop 13 years of not leaving the house by myself in a day and I'm not going to recover in a month...
Baby steps and celebrate the progress I've made.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-20 01:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-19 09:29 pm (UTC)Something I always try to remind myself of:
Normal people only look normal on the outside. There's so much they hide beneath the mask they show the world.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-19 11:51 pm (UTC)Good point! I guess in that case, I'm more envious of people who have their lives together and/or are functional. But things are getting better so maybe soon I'll be a functional adult.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-20 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-12-20 08:21 pm (UTC)