Dani Rose

Had a good two days as I wait for news on Jasper's test.

Beautiful storm this afternoon then we got hail.

Made icons for a challenge community. I'm tired.

Doctor's appointment for me.

I've been forced to take a break from making Icons due to eye and neck strain. But my muse wants nothing more than to continue.

Last night we had a glorious storm with loud booms which helped distract me from Jasper's stomach issues. Luckily he hasn't thrown up again since he threw up on my blankets last night. Poor boy we discontinued his antibiotic and so far he seems okay.

I'm listening to true crime stories, Crimes that shook Australia, which I switched to after one of the other series covered one that happened on a Florida beach that my mother and I went to often when I was a youngling. The crimes took place the year before I was born and involved younglings going off on their own.

While my parents, Father and Stepmom (mom didn't have custody of me, I visited) went about keeping me safe in a way that gave me a life long anxiety disorder. When listening to true crime sometimes I'm like Oh... There has to be away to keep younglings safe and not convince them they will end up raped and murdered behind a McDonald's! Luckily I'm 41 and so far never had a pregnancy test come up positive so it's not my problem.

One good thing about Jasper throwing up on my blanket is my blanket had to be washed and now it's fresh and clean. Ready for me to burrow my face in and smell the fresh clean laundry smell.

Whenever I listen to Australian true crime I always check to see if they found the Beaumont Children. Sadly they have not.

Nearly sixty years ago they disappeared: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_the_Beaumont_children

I want to watch tv shows but I struggle to find things that appeal to me.

I am so tired, not physically but mentally. I was overwhelmed even before Jasper's tests came back cancerous but I'm extra tired now.

Limiting my exposure to news has been good for me now if I can only make Tumblr go back to be being about fun and fandoms. I get why it isn't but I don't want to endlessly hear about the war in the middle east. I especially don't want to see people being cool with terrorism because they thing Jewish people are white colonists. Especially the people that I blocked because they were okay with the attacks in Washington and Colorado along with others. None of these Americans marching for peace and for the hostages to be released have anything to do with what's going on in the middle east besides being Jewish.

This plus the other political posts have killed my happy place. I just want to see pictures of my otps kissing/dancing/having shippy moments. Let me be happy please? I might make another blog where I only follow daily gif sites...

I want to curl up and read and go back to learning too.

The bluejays polished off all the food even though we filled it yesterday. Jasper is being a menace to society today which means that he's feeling better. He's been very chatty and has been trying to climb legs but he doesn't want a snack nor does he want to be held. He just wants to be a pest!

The other cats have been a little jealous at the attention Jasper has been getting but Mushi will get a taste of that care on Friday and Saturday. Before his shots he's supposed to have Gabepentin to make him docile so he won't attack the vet during his shots.

Made some icons for daily icons and am working on making a challenge as well. It was fun being creative.

Jasper's surgery is in six hours.

I am a mess of anxiety.

We won't know until about 3 weeks or so if this time they got all of it. Last time they didn't know it was cancerous and the cancer was all the way into the margins.

I hope they can get the cancer out. I hope he'll forgive us for putting him through another surgery.

I hope he won't stop cuddling me or purring on my shoulder while nesting onto my boobs for a nap.

I'm finally caught up on comments!

Let's see:

Jasper has surgery on Thursday to hopefully remove the rest of the melanoma which hopefully isn't spreading elsewhere. The lab gave it a 20 percent chance of moving elsewhere. But then again the biopsy was an abundance of caution from the optometrist vet and only had a 15 percent or so chance of being cancerous.

Poor Jasper and I.

He's been in good spirits. His weight is back up but we'd like it if he'd gain a pound. He's a thin mint. He's been curling up and cuddling more since we had to evacuate in October because of hurricane Milton and that trend has continued. No hard feelings from the first surgery and that will hopefully continue with this second one.

I'm preparing for his surgery by trying to change my sleeping schedule so someone is with Jasper at all times. Ian doesn't have off work this time so it'll be a little trickier but thankfully he works from home.

Thinking about making a play pen type thing for him because he's unsteady and frail without meds but becomes extra unsteady on meds.

I got my birthday presents in the mail, and have happily enjoyed the manga for nichijou,
and looking forward to reading the two history books.

Spent some time playing dreamlight valley. Love the Cheshire cat!

I really need some new media my muse is pretty much dead.

Saw the gif of Billie Piper becoming the Doctor it's shame Doctor Who sucks and makes no sense otherwise I would be incoherent with delight. Love me some Billie Piper and in the hands of someone wanting to tell a good story you could do interesting things with that.

I think I'd pick a point and have the Timeless Child be a trap by the Master because that whole thing started the convoluted nonsense that is currently canon. Plus the Master being endlessly tortured as a child in order to have regenerations stolen from him would have made more sense. Given some depth to his crazy. A reason for him to destroy everything.

But supposedly it's cancelled.

Afraid to look at my friends page. Tumblr has been full of people lately that are cool with parroting terrorists phrases being cool with people being killed for being Jewish. I have blocked so soooo many people.

Made an appointment to discuss Jasper's future with our vet. So tomorrow I'll know if he gets treatment or if the cancer is such that it'll be time to give my old man cat hospice cat.

Ob July 7th it'll be a year since my five year old cat passed away too.

I'm hoping that it's treatable but the fact that the eye removal didn't contain all of the mass that did turn out cancerous.

I'm not expecting good news.

What a fun day and something it's been. Ian went to pick up Jasper yesterday and our credit card wasn't working (dunno if they rang it correctly because it works today) so rather than half on the credit card and half from our bank account. All of it came from our bank account.

Then when Ian went to the pharmacy the vet wrote the prescription on the wrong paper. Apparently the pain med is a controlled substance.

But by then the vet was closed.

So a phone call to the emergency vet to make sure they could give Jasper the medicine with only an itemized receipt.

Three dogs died while we waited for three and a half hours. I watched a lady name jewelry and chatted while she waited for them to work out a way to treat her cat that was more affordable. She gave me a cute little wire work and bead ring.

Then we were called back. I asked if the gabapentin we give him for anxiety that was prescribed to Miso for pain after his surgery could be used. Because he didn't write anything down or touch the carrier just read the receipt and we already had the pills. They didn't charge us.

I love vets. I got a brief look at Cat Middleton their office cat.

It was midnight. We set up the air mattress for me so Ian could be with Jazzy in the isolation room.

Jasper is walking around and has eaten some. I've spent all day in the isolation room with him.

I made the mistake of looking up whatbthe prognosis is if it's melanoma. It's a death sentence. But!!!! We don't know it's melanoma. It's more likely not to be. So I'm trying to focus on the good.

He's home. He's doing okay and he's not angry at us.




With the cone and without the cone:


I'm still a bit squeamish about the stitches but he still looks handsome.

Glorious beautiful rain. Hopefully this means we're Out of fire danger.

Made delicious naan but our Aldis order didn't include our cake or onions. So rather than our Indian food dinner we ate frozen taquitos.

Jasper has been stressed by getting his meds three times a day mess.

Deleted most social media because people comparing the US to nazi Germany and suggesting people hoard years of food was making me anxious.

And having a public forum where I criticized things was a potential risk if they are right.

I am a ball of stress at all times.

Happy New Years Eve. Hopefully it's a better one than the year that's leaving today.

Had blood drawn this morning. Am super tired. I'm either taking a nap or celebrating the year before I fall asleep.

Normally my tradition is to reflect on the year that was and what I hope to accomplish in the next but...I'm done talking about this year.

As for resolutions. I want to make improvements on the issues that bring me down. I want to be healthy and creative and maybe feel more hope and enthusiasm again.

About to try a pineberry for the first time.