Dani Rose

Dear Joey Cat,

For heaven's sake stop peeing and pooping on the carpet. Use your litter box for fucks sake. It's clean. Or if that isn't good enough go on the linoleum or tile so it's easier to clean up.

The house smells of urine now, thanks so much.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Boo (aka Mushi),
Stop biting me! It really really hurts when you bite my cheek. You drew blood.

Maybe Mommy won't buy you a new squeaky toy when she's shopping this week. You have been naughty.

Love,
Mommy

To both of you,
Yes, you thing one and thing two. No you can't go outside. Joey, you'd pass on FIV to all the stray cats that don't already have it. You could also be injured by the numerous big trucks and cars that go by. You could also get lost. You have a pretty good life, it just doesn't include outside time.

Spoiled little loved cats, behave!

Love,
Mommy