dani_meows | Network

It’s Not the 1980s Men Miss. It’s This.

Sometimes I catch myself wishing I could rewind parts of the world to the 1980s and just leave it that way. Not to relive my youth or go back to some glory days. That's not what the fantasy is about. What I've started to realize is that when men my age long for that era, we're not really reaching for the past. We're reaching for specific things about how life worked back then that have quietly disappeared from modern life. Things most of us feel the absence of but haven't quite been able to name. In this video I try to name them. Because I think what we call nostalgia is actually something more important than nostalgia. It might be the most honest signal we have about what's gone missing and why daily life feels the way it does now.

This video is applied philosophy. Most philosophy is more abstract, so people think it's "head in the clouds" stuff. Applied philosophy is different. Philosophy in general is "thinking about thinking" -- what you think, how you think, what you feel and why, the meaning of things, that sort of stuff. The abstract branch is about applying that to humans in general. But the applied branch is about using that information on a more personal and practical level, to troubleshoot your life, your community, some process or organization that you're participating in. Philosophy gives you the skills to analyze things, much like science does, but with a different toolkit for things that are less concrete, replicable, and easy to test. That's the part you need most. So let's look at some things that have gotten worse, which ones are more or less fixable, and what you can do about that...

( Read more... )

Current Mood: busy

serafaery

Life was better with dad in it. John Roscoe Jurgensen, 1942-2001. My heart aches daily. I had to learn to be my own father at age 26. Not recommended. But I do feel stronger now. Seeing people my age still clinging to their fathers with a sense of neediness for approval or support is a very strange sensation.

To see it with their mothers also, but I understand that a little more. My mom disowned me in my 30s, effectively orphaning me, and then later when alzheimers ravaged her brain I had to be the one to take care of her. But even through all of that, there is still inside me a little girl who wants her mommy. So I get it. The part of me who wants her daddy transitioned long, long ago to that whole inner Mr. Darcy thing. Though I do still seek him in my lovers. I know this. It's normal, it's fine, it's just instinct, it's not meaningful and I know I won't find what I'm looking for there, it's just a biological desire, like wanting chocolate, or a soft blanket.

...
( a small need to vent, reflecting on contrasts, jealousy, insensitivity. humans just humaning. life just lifing. and then unlifing. as it does. nothing to be done but try to enjoy the brief flicker of participation we are mysteriously gifted. )

badfalcon

📚 Reading:

I finished Deadline by Mira Grant and OMG. Immediately bought Blackout because that ending!

However, before I throw myself into the next book, I'm attempting to show some restraint and read Cherry Cheesecake Murder and Under the Duvet. This is partly for variety and partly because my brain apparently enjoys ricocheting wildly between genres.

🎧 Listening To:

The song that keeps randomly appearing in my head is Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy by Fall Out Boy. My brain has apparently decided that it's 2003 again, and who am I to argue? (I never did get over my emo phase, lets be honest)

I've also had various songs from Six on rotation. The downside is that I now have approximately six different songs fighting for control of my internal soundtrack at any given moment.

And, for reasons I can actually explain, I've developed a sudden urge to listen to a lot of Boyzone. They did another final concert a couple of weeks ago and I think it's kicked something loose in my nostalgia centres. No particular song. Just... Boyzone. Apparently my music taste this week is being curated by a committee made up of my teenage self, six Tudor queens, and Taylor Swift.

📺 Watching:

I'm still not watching a huge amount of television. We are making our way through season seven of Pointless on YouTube, which remains one of my favourite comfort watches.

Other than that, it's mostly tennis. Grass season has arrived and apparently every tournament director got together and decided all the interesting matches should start at exactly the same time. My watchlist is judging me, but Wimbledon is nearly here and priorities must be maintained.

🎾 Tennis:

Tennis has continued to be batshit.
Francis Tiafoe won Halle, Francisco Cerundulo won Queens - and honestly neither result thrilled me.
Although Chris O'Connell won the Nottingham Challenger and it was his first title since the end of 2024 so that made me beam. And one of the younger British lads, Henry Searle won Dublin - and he got in as a wildcard and it was his first men's title (he won a handful as a junior)

Coming up this week we have Wimbledon qualifying, Eastbourne, Mallorca and Bad Homburg - I'm not bothering to look at Challengers tbh because everyone I'd follow on that circuit is basically in Roehampton for Wimbledon qualies.

AND there's the Giorgio Armani Classic exho which has Jannik and Sunshine and Flavio so that should be fun.

The weather forecast is terrible for the tennis with those temps though

🖊Writing:

Working on finishing Act I of the Priest!Simone AU the courage of my convictions. I was stalled for ages which is annoying because chapter 10 is one I've been looking forward to since I first started the fic, but I figured out it was because it was the end of Act I and I hadn't planned out Act II or III - I planned those then turned around and wrote 3000 words of chapter 10. Hoping to get that finished and edited and posted this week, though I may need someone to read over the scene where Jannik finds out the priest had a previous career as a tennis player because I'm worried it's a little info-dumpy

🏫 Studying:

Nothing. Enjoying my summer.

💭 Thinking About:

My current work contract finishes on the 30th June and I don't have anything lined up. So many applications but not really getting anywhere. I'm looking for remote and remote-first work, because I'm accepting that office-based is not sustainable for me long-term with my disabilities but starting to think at least short term I may have to reconsider and take temp/contract work that's on site or a 3/2 hybrid. But just the thought of it makes me feel nauseated tbh :(

📅 Planning:

I am getting my hair dyed on Saturday. There's part of me thinks I shouldn't because it's a big expense on one of my last full pay packets but I figure freshly cut and dyed hair will look much better than 2 months of grown out and faded hair, plus the confidence boost of it looking awesome.

Li sent Viv, my hairdresser, inspo pics yesterday for me and Viv is quite excited - I'm going for Wimbledon colours, and more of a striped pattern. She's apparently having fun trying to mix the right shade of green!

💖 Loving:

The small things, mostly.

Palia continues to have me firmly in its grip. I've picked up my planner again after about six weeks of not using it and remembered how much happier I am when I'm actually writing things down. I'm excited to go swimming this week, which feels like a sentence I haven't said in a long time, and I'm very excited for my Wimbledon-themed hair appointment on Saturday.

We also got a new Kallax unit for the bedroom and, honestly, I cannot overstate how much joy it has brought me. I can actually see all of my clothes. They're all in one place. I've rediscovered things I'd completely forgotten I owned. It turns out being able to find your clothes is excellent for convincing yourself you have things to wear.

Unfortunately this has also reminded me how much I want approximately everything from Rebel Romance.

There are some fairly big uncertainties hanging over the next few weeks, but right now I'm trying to focus on the things that bring me joy, whether that's a good book, a tennis match, a cosy game, a page full of planner stickers, or a very satisfying storage solution.

seleneheart

B3: Set in a School/University | An Arcane Inheritance

An Arcane Inheritance by Kamilah Cole

Blurb:

Warren University has long stood amongst the ivy elite, built on the bones—and forbidden magic—of its most prized BIPOC students…hiding the rot of a secret society that will do anything to keep their own powers burning bright, no matter the cost to those lost along the way.

The book is set in the fictional Warren University, the 9th Ivy League college. It plays off the urban legend (that is mostly true) that the Ivies have secret societies, despite them being illegal, or against the college by-laws. Except this particular society exists to drain the magic from BIPOC scholarship students. The premise is amazing and the world building is pretty good, although based on the provided map, Warren is smaller than Dartmouth, which is the smallest real-life Ivy League school. This illustrates the issue I had with the book - the story was not fully fleshed out and the ending wasn't as dramatic and impactful as it could have been. I was fine with the not-happy, but hopeful nature of the ending.

N1: Set in a Country Other Than Your Own | The Tusk That Did the Damage

The Tusk that Did the Damage by Tania James

Blurb:

From the critically acclaimed author of Atlas of Unknowns and Aerogrammes, a tour de force set in South India that plumbs the moral complexities of the ivory trade through the eyes of a poacher, a documentary filmmaker, and, in a feat of audacious imagination, an infamous elephant known as the Gravedigger.

Orphaned by poachers as a calf and sold into a life of labor and exhibition, the Gravedigger breaks free of his chains and begins terrorizing the countryside, earning his name from the humans he kills and then tenderly buries. Manu, the studious younger son of a rice farmer, loses his cousin to the Gravedigger's violence and is drawn, with his wayward brother Jayan, into the sordid, alluring world of poaching. Emma is a young American working on a documentary with her college best friend, who witnesses the porous boundary between conservation and corruption and finds herself in her own moral gray area, a risky affair with the veterinarian who is the film's subject. As the novel hurtles toward its tragic climax, these three storylines fuse into a wrenching meditation on love and betrayal, fact and myth, duty and sacrifice.

With lyricism and suspense, Tania James animates the rural landscapes where Western idealism clashes with local reality; where a farmer's livelihood can be destroyed by a rampaging elephant; where men are driven to poaching by extreme poverty; where elephants are seen as both god and menace. In James's arrestingly beautiful prose, The Tusk That Did the Damage tells a wholly original and unforgettable story about our relationship with an animal that has mesmerized us for centuries.

The story is told through three different POVs - the elephant, the poacher, and the filmmaker (documentary). That is literally how each chapter is titled. We learn their actual names from other people. This illustrates my issues with this book - the characters were more archetypes than actual characters. No one learned any lessons. Maybe that's the point - that the problems with countries that had been previously colonies have no answers. The poaching is an intractable problem and happens for reasons that the people trying to prevent it don't fully understand. That no matter how sympathetic western filmmakers may be and however much good they are trying to do by exposing problems, they can't fully understand their subjects.

With these two books, I have two more bingos:

Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: Tacocat - New World

mark posting in

dw_maintenance

Olá de Lisboa! (I'm in Lisbon right now for work...)

Thank you everybody who has tested on canary - I'm about to push the code up to stable. I know that not everything has been tested and there's a lot in this deploy, so I expect some things to break or be weird. We have ported a lot more of the "older" pages to the newer formats, so there will be some UI changes in a few places, but it shouldn't be anything too major.

Watch for: One thing I know will require tuning, we now have added rate limits (which basically allows us to control how rapidly DW pages are loaded.) This is a protection mostly designed against bots, but any time in my career I've rolled out new rate limits, I've learned someone is hitting them and they have to be tuned. So if you see them, please let me know!

Anyway please do comment and I'll work to fix things today. We also have a rollback ready in case we need to (and I'll be honest, I expect we may need to... we really should do more frequent deploys.)

Known Issues

~~Search has gone walkabout. Working on it.~~ It's back!
Some UI weirdness with Manage Tags.

As always, thank you for your patience and supporting our scrappy little service!

classicfilmex

Classic Film Exchange is what it says on the tin: an exchange for fandoms in movies released before 1/1/1980. This date doesn't mean that no "classic" films were released after January 1, 1980, merely that it serves as a useful cut-off to allow less frequently requested and written fandoms to get the attention they deserve!

The challenge is fic only and is open to films from any nation in any language, but the fic must be in English.

When considering the release date of a movie that came out close to the end of the eligibility window, please use the release in the country of origin; if a film was released in a different country before 1/1/1980, please let the mods know at classicfilmexchange@gmail.com so we can verify it.

Rules are below but, for those who have participated before, there is just one change: commenting on your gift is now mandatory, and failure to do so will result in a banning from the following year's exchange.

AO3 Collection | Rules | Tagset | AO3 app

Schedule (each phase closes at 10pm UTC +2)
July 6 to 17 - Nominations
July 17 to 19 - Cleanup/Clarification
July 20 to 31 - Sign-ups
Aug 3 - Assignments go out (at the latest)
September 21 - Assignments due
September 28 - collection goes live
October 5 - author reveals

( Rules, etc. )

maggie33

Yesterday there was 30°C outside, today there is something like 35°C. I feel like I’m dying from overheating, ugh. Since it’s impossible to go out I spend my days watching cute things and writing explicit Dare You to Death fanfic. Time well spent if I say so myself. 😊

I watched Husbands in Action yesterday, and it was very cute and funny. I also watched very short (only six 12-minutes-long episodes) Korean BL drama called Check in to You. It’s fantasy BL with body swap and antagonists-to-lovers trope, and I enjoyed it a lot. It was also very cute and funny. And for such a short drama it has a surprisingly decent script and two decent actors with great chemistry, who are good at playing their character and the other character in different body.

I also watched a lot of fancams lately. First 2PM had the 15th Anniversary Concert “The Return” in Tokyo Dome. It was great to see all the boys together, looking so good, having fun singing Japanese version of their songs, and being, as always, giant dorks.

If someone’s interested and has some free time (like three and a half hour) here is a good quality vid with the whole concert.

Watch on YouTube

I also watched a lot of vids from Blush Blossom Fan Fest. This is GMMTV’s yearly event for their GL ships. Because my current favorite GL ship JanJingjing (seriously Enemies with Benefits is so, so good, and sexy, funny and sweet) was there, and wow, their version of Jasper’s Touch was hot like burning. See for yourself:

Watch on YouTube

And I only now found out that Jeff Satur sang Your Idol cover on New Year’s Eve concert last year. And it’s wonderful, so I’m going to share it with you, too.

Watch on YouTube

shipperslist

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mific posting in

fanart_recs

Fandom: Project Hail Mary
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Eva Stratt, Ryland Grace
Content Notes/Warnings: none
Medium: digital art
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: b--love on tumblr
Why this piece is awesome: I love how overpowering she is, with Grace so small, and her eyes focusing somewhere just beyond him, on the big, end-of-the-world problem.
Link: You are my solution, backup link here

snowynight posting in

beautifulmechanical

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smallhobbit

Tripped on a kerb on the way out for a walk. Fell and broke 2 bones just above my wrist. Now have a plaster cast on my left arm. So if I'm a bit slow in replying, you'll know why!

veronyxk84 posting in

anythingdrabble

Title: Morning, Love
Fandom: Viola come il mare
Author:

veronyxk84
Pairing: Viola Vitale/Francesco Demir
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Word count: 200 (Ellipsus)
Spoilers/Setting: Set during S2.
Summary: Francesco wakes to the truth he’s no longer fighting.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction created for fun and no profit has been made. All rights belong to the respective owners.

Challenge: #444 - Fight

Crossposted:

fan_flashworks, My journal (with bonus Italian version), “Chiamami Ancora Amore” - the Series

—
( READ: Morning, Love )

☙ ☙ ☙

delphi

This is just me poking at my own (negative) reaction to something that was shared about a joke in the Our Flag Means Death finale that didn't fully make it onscreen. I know it goes without saying around here, but this isn't a slam on the person who shared it—I just have continuing thoughts I keep chewing on about the show and about some of the production details that I think speak to larger trends.

( Queer as in [insert punchline here] )

ysabetwordsmith

A legendary golden fabric lost for 2,000 years has returned

Scientists have brought back the legendary golden sea silk of antiquity—and revealed why its dazzling color can survive for centuries without fading.

Researchers in South Korea have recreated the legendary “sea silk” once prized by emperors, using fibers from a clam cultivated in Korean coastal waters. They discovered that its famous golden shine comes from tiny protein structures that reflect light rather than from pigments or dyes. Because the color is built into the fiber’s structure, it can remain vibrant for centuries.

Current Mood: busy

styletto posting in

fandom_icons

x222 Olruggio

all here!

post_secret_feed

Posted by Frank

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/fathers-day-secrets-8/

https://postsecret.com/?p=36337

I got these text messages from my dad after my mother confessed he wasn’t actually my biological dad. I’m 31 years old and this is the first I knew of it.

More to me then any jewel that can be found, love always Papa

This is the last Christmas card I ever got from my dad. He had a fatal stroke on the day before Christmas 5 years ago. He was right – I’ve had some amazing adventures since – a doctorate, a Fulbright, a ton of travel, lots of love and now totally ready to work on the toughest of problems.

Ironically, I also don’t sleep much… My research assistants always laugh when I send them emails at 3 am. But I’m dreaming up solutions to problems and they just can’t wait…

—email—
Hi Frank,

I’ve been following PostSecret now for over a decade and this is my first e-mail to you.

I’m writing in response to one of the Father’s Day secrets. The one that says the dad wasn’t a good man to his son when he was young, but that he’s trying to do better now and it’s hard. I wanted to let him know that he shouldn’t stop trying to find ways to connect. Please be patient and please don’t stop trying. The nature of any relationship is built on much more complex circumstances than can be realized without time, effort, understanding, and forgiveness. Your son needs time to work through his experiences and feelings too, and hopefully he’ll get there (and maybe he won’t). Either way, don’t stop showing up in all the little and big ways.

Oddly, I discovered PostSecret when my dad and I were asked to do voice-overs for one of the promo videos for the “A Lifetime of Secrets” book release. The secret he read was about fatherhood. Mine was about fate. Years later, when I went to visit the PostSecret exhibit at the National Postal Museum, the secrets we read were displayed right next to each other. I started crying right in the middle of the museum. I’ve attached them to this e-mail. Truly, it’s all in the little things. If you can’t read them the first ones says, “If you’re waiting for a sign. . . this is it. Do it. It will be amazing. The other postcard read, “I LOVE HER ANYWAYS” and on the other side was a black and white sonogram with the words, “I know she’s not mine.”

The post Father’s Day Secrets appeared first on PostSecret.

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/fathers-day-secrets-8/

https://postsecret.com/?p=36337

post_secret_feed

Posted by Frank

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/fathers-day-voices/

http://postsecret.com/?p=5978

My Dad sent this message to me the night before I was supposed to fly home from a trip to Paris. . . He died last year. I listen to this message every time I fly now.

Almost 4 years ago I heard a voicemail on PostSecret from a girl’s deceased grandmother singing to her. I decided that I wanted to keep voicemails from my loved ones just in case. I am so very thankful that secret because now I have my dad’s voice to listen to. he passed away 4 years ago.

I saved many voicemails from my dad and made them into this piece of artwork. He died on Valentine’s Day.
This is my favorite piece of artwork I’ve ever made

[Listen to more or share your voicemail message at the PostSecret Digital Museum of Secrets.]

The post Father’s Day Voices appeared first on PostSecret.

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/fathers-day-voices/

http://postsecret.com/?p=5978

post_secret_feed

Posted by Frank

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/25-questions/

http://postsecret.com/?p=23348

I asked PostSecret followers to suggest questions that I could ask my dad for an unforgettable interview. More than 1,000 questions came back.

This was the original post:

I was thrilled with all the thoughtful questions shared with me, from the delightful to the profound. I read them all and picked 25 to ask my father. At a family dinner the night before our day of tandem paragliding, as an experiment, I peppered three into our conversation. . . it didn’t go well.

Like many families, ours was far from perfect, with divorce and estrangement being a part of it. So when other family members began responding to some of my father’s answers, long-buried feelings and some judgement turned the interview sour. Because of that learning experience, I changed some of my questions and gained three insights for when I would try again the next day.

• Avoid questions about regrets or mistakes. Instead, start with questions that include the word “favorite”, like, “What’s your favorite decade and why”?
• Try to keep the questions open-ended and let responses spark other questions naturally. Aim for a flowing conversation rather than an interview.
• Really listen. . . No, really listen.

On the two hour drive to the Gliderport the next day, it was just my father and me in the car. I told him how much it meant to me to go through these questions and get to know him better. He was game so I cautiously started. He passed on some of the questions, but then really began to share a lot with me, including a secret. He even started asking me some of the same questions! The spirit in the car was supportive and generous, with some heartfelt laughs as we used questions as prompts for our once-in-a-lifetime conversation.

Even though we were unable to do any gliding because of wind conditions, I’ll never forget that day and the new appreciation I discovered for my father. I can’t reveal the secret he told me but another part of our conversation shocked me. I asked this gentle and caring man; “What is the most common misconception people have about you?” He said. “When I was ten-years-old, my mom spanked me for the last time. I don’t think you know how stubborn I was then but you do know how stern your Grandmother could be. I remember through my tears and pain looking at my mother and saying, with spite, ‘I like getting spanked’!”

Here are the 25 questions that guided our conversation.

~~~

Do you have a favorite snack, song, television show, recipe, comedy?

Can you tell me about your best friend when you were a kid and one of your adventures?

Can you describe a favorite memory about a family member?

What is the oldest story you know about our ancestors?

Is there something about me that you have always wanted to know but have never asked?

If this were to be our very last conversation, is there anything you would want to say to me?

What is your first memory?

Did you ever get into trouble as a kid? What happened?

If there was a biography of you, how would you want to be described?

What choice are you thankful that you did not make?

What is the best advice you remember from your father?

Is there anything you wish you had said to someone but didn’t have the chance?

Can you teach me something?

What is something you would like me to ask you?

What do you wish you would have spent less time worrying about?

What is something you deliberately did not tell me as a child and why?

What is the best part of your day? What makes you feel most alive?

What is the last thing you changed your mind about?

What things helped you get through a difficult time in your life?

Over the course of your life, what trip or place was most special? Why?

What would you like to re-experience again because you did not appreciate it enough the first time?

Can you tell me something about yourself that I don’t know that you think would surprise, shock or delight me?

What habits served you the most through life?

What is the best mistake you have made, and why?

What do you hope my siblings and I have learned from you?

How are you doing right now? Is there anything on your mind right now that you’d like to talk about?

~~~

(When my father visits again, I’ll be sure to have his favorite comedy and snack ready.)

~~~

The post 25 Questions for Dad appeared first on PostSecret.

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/25-questions/

http://postsecret.com/?p=23348

post_secret_feed

Posted by Frank

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/classic-secrets-9/

http://postsecret.com/?p=1121

(from my inbox)

The post Classic Secrets appeared first on PostSecret.

https://postsecret.com/2026/06/21/classic-secrets-9/

http://postsecret.com/?p=1121

falkner

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Dani Rose

May 2026

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Dani Rose

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How to Reclaim the Past

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2026 edition: schedule, intro, and rules!

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2026 ABC challenge, letters O, J, & Z

You are my solution by b--love (SFW)

Yoko Ono - Hell In Paradise

I Am An Idiot

[Challenge #444] Viola come il mare / Morning, Love

Where's the Joke in Queer Comedy? (Meandering Thoughts on an OFMD BTS Detail)

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