(no subject)
Apr. 30th, 2022 12:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
My mother is dead. My feelings are complex. And I'm coming out of numbness now.
I hurt. She knew she was dying. And didn't notify me. Didn't have my half sister tell me.
One final fuck you from a woman who told me she wished she'd had an abortion.
I can't say I'll miss her as much as I can say I miss the possibility that she'd change. Regret her abuse of me and love me like she loved my younger sister.
I miss the mom I only had a few times who rocked me and called me baby mouse.
I hurt. She knew she was dying. And didn't notify me. Didn't have my half sister tell me.
One final fuck you from a woman who told me she wished she'd had an abortion.
I can't say I'll miss her as much as I can say I miss the possibility that she'd change. Regret her abuse of me and love me like she loved my younger sister.
I miss the mom I only had a few times who rocked me and called me baby mouse.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-30 08:07 am (UTC)It sounds like there is a whole mountain to unpack and process there! I hope you're doing as well as possible with that. If you want to talk, I'll be happy to listen. If nothing else, I'm always here for a hug - even if it's just a virtual one - or even a conversation about anything else if you want to think about something else.